mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
