I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
