You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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