I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
