he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
