Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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