that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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