You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
