I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
