just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
