I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
