He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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