we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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