Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
