just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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