some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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