So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
That reminds me...we need to get swords
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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