those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
