When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
