Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
