its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize