I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
