Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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