Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
this is an emotional support booty call
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
