Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
