Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
