My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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