hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
