More tranny stories later!
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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