so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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