Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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