ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
