why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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