I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
