11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
