There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
