corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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