Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
