I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
