my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
