yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
