When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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