in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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