I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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