she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
