you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
