I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
