There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
