dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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