she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
