Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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